Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear Daddy!
Happy birthday to you!
And many more
Please have many more.
Zack and I love you, daddy!
Zack chattered with you last entry about ways our parronts try to relax after a busy day of work. One other way is humor. Mommy isn’t the greatest with jokes, but she does pass along goodies she hears every now. In this entry, I’d like to share a few with you. We’ll call these your Friday Funnies, since tomorrow is Friday. Pass them along!
First is one she saw the other day online. The humor in this one is the unexpected twist:
A man went to an auction where, after a heated bid war, he bought a parrot. He asked the auctioneer “does the parrot talk?”
“He sure does,” the auctioneer said, “he’s been bidding against you for the past thirty minutes.”
Some are puns like this one:
A nun was at an airport waiting on her flight. While sitting there alone, she spotted a machine with a sign that read “Tells your weight and fortune!”
“That’s nonsense,” she said, but she was bored, so she stepped to the machine and plunked in a quarter. A slip of paper came out that read “You are a nun. You weigh 95 pounds. You will play the fiddle.”
“That’s silly!” she said, sitting back down. “I’ve never played an instrument in my life!” But in a few minutes, a man sat next to her with a fiddle. Before she knew what she was doing, she picked up the fiddle and started playing.
“Wow! Who knew that?” Now she was curious about that machine. She went back and plunked in another quarter. A slip of paper came out that read “You are a nun. You weigh 95 pounds. You will pass gas.”
“Now I know that’s wrong because I’ve never done that in public in my life!” she said, but when she sat down, she let out the biggest toot imaginable.
“This is unbelievable!” she said. She went back the machine and plunked in another quarter. A slip of paper came out that read “You are a nun. You weigh 95 pounds. You fiddled and farted and missed your flight.”
Hee hee hee!
And now, here is mommy’s favorite joke. This one is based on the classic misunderstanding:
A preacher got his first assignment in a small community far from his home. Soon after starting, a homeless man that many people recognized passed away. Many in the small town thought it was a shame that this homeless man had no family, so they pooled their resources and asked the preacher to do a brief funeral service. The man was to be buried in a new cemetery on the outskirts of town. The preacher, thinking this would be a great time to prove his worth, agreed.
On the appointed day, he got lost. He hated to ask for directions, so he drove around until he hit the outskirts of town, where he saw a crew out in a field with heavy digging equipment. He rushed to the crew, shouting for them to stop. “I’m here! I’m sorry I’m late!” he shouted. The crew stood by silently with hats in hands and heads bowed as the preacher gave the best sermon of his life, extolling faith from Genesis to Revelation. As he finished, the crew silently returned their hats to their heads.
“Thank you for waiting on me gentlemen,” he said. “You can finish your job now.”
As he was walking away, he heard one of the men say softly “that’s the strangest thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ve been installing septic systems for twenty years.”
Now that’s just silly!
I hope you enjoyed your Friday Funnies! Take care, and have a great weekend.