I have a special treat for you today! Mommy recently stumbled upon a children's story that she wrote about me back in 2008. It's titled Hanging Out With Zack, and was originally intended to be a picture book. Unfortunately, she doesn't know any illustrators, and every publisher she queried denied it. She posted it a few places online here and there, and even made a co-worker a "scrapbook" with the story, along with photographs, stickers, and other clipart pictures, for a baby shower gift. Then her mystery books were published, then she branched out to scifi, and then in the end she decided to retool the "bird stories" into what we all know and love as "Anipal Land." 

We thought it might be fun to share this precursor story to Anipal Land here for you to see how it all got started. Remember that this story was written before we were on Twitter, and before Chloe (and Ollie) were adopted, back when I was an "only bird." Also, we had just moved in our new home in the woods, so the characters are inspired by the wildlife we "met" in those first few months in our home. 

Without further ado, I proudly present Hanging Out With Zack.


Luv,

Zack

Hanging Out With Zack

            Zack gazed out the window as Mommy and Daddy turned out of the driveway, leaving for work. They would be gone all day, the same as every day. He fluffed his feathers and settled in the back of his cage for a nap when he heard tapping at the window.

            “What could that be?” Climbing to the front of his cage, he saw Bob and Bella Bluebird at the window.

            “Hi Zack, we’d like to hang out with you today,” Bob said.

            “That’s nice,” Zack said. “What will we do?”

            “We thought about taking you for a trip through the woods,” Bella said. “It’s a beautiful summer day, and we have friends we’d like you to meet.”

             “But I’m locked in a cage, and you’re outside,” Zack said. “How am I going to get out of here?”

            Bob smiled. “Birds know ways of opening locks that human’s don’t. Watch!”

            In a flash, they had the window raised just enough to get in the house. Bella lifted the latch to Zack’s cage and opened the door. “You’re free! Come on, let’s go.”

            “Mommy and Daddy will worry,” Zack said.

            Bob shook his head and pulled the window closed. “There, good as new. We’ll have you back before they come home from work.”

            “Let’s go to the woods!” Bella said, taking off for the trees across Zack’s back yard.

            “Bella, wait! It might be dangerous!” Zack said, flying after her.

            “Nonsense,” Bob said, flying next to Zack. “We live here. Besides, we know everybody back here. We have many friends, and we want you to meet them.”

            “Yes,” Bella said, landing at the edge of the woods. “Since you moved in last fall, they wonder who you are. Come on, we’ll walk from here.”

            Zack landed next to Bella and fluffed his gold feathers. As a pet parrot he always liked to meet new people, but he didn’t meet many animals. “I hope this is safe,” he said.

            “It is. Look! Here comes one now,” Bob said as a brown bunny approached with a carrot in his mouth. He hopped to the three birds.

            “Good morning fine fellows! Who is your golden friend?” he asked, nibbling on the carrot.

            “This is Zack. He moved in the big house on the edge of the woods last fall,” Bella said.

            The rabbit took the carrot from his mouth and smiled. “Hi Zack, I’m Ricky Rabbit. I’m pleased to meet you!”

            “I’m pleased to meet you too,” Zack said.

            “Ricky, where did you get that carrot?” Bob asked.

            Ricky pointed to the farm in the distance, where a man was driving a tractor through the fields. “Over there.”

            Bella gasped. “You stole from Farmer Fulmer’s crops! He’ll be furious!”

            Ricky shook his head. “Not at all. He’s seen me before. He left this at the edge of the woods for me because it’s too small for him to eat.”

            “Are you sure it’s for you?” Bob asked.

            “I’ve heard Farmer Fulmer is kind,” Zack said. “Mommy buys produce from him all the time.”

            Ricky nodded. “He is a friend of mine.”

            Bella sighed. “Then I suppose it’s fine.”

            “Why are we talking in rhyme?” Bob asked.

            They laughed and continued their journey on foot, since Ricky couldn’t fly. It wasn’t long before Zack stuck his foot on something scaly.

            “Watch your step, Twinkle Toes!” a voice hissed. A head popped in front of Zack’s face.

            “My goodness! I’m sorry!” Zack said, jumping back. “Who are you?”

            “I’m Sammy Snake, and you stepped on my back!”

            “Sammy, it’s good to see you!” Ricky said. “How are you?”

            Sammy sighed. “I’m terrible. Farmer Fulmer ran me out of his garden again yesterday, and Henrietta Hawk chased me this morning. I was barely able to slither to safety. She’s going to make me dinner soon!” He curled up on the ground. “Everybody hates me.”

            “That’s not true!” Bella said. “We like you!”

            “We do?” Zack asked.

            “Most people don’t like me,” Sammy sobbed. “Like your Mommy. She saw me last week, and she screamed.”

            “I think people are afraid of snakes because they slither,” Zack said, “but everybody needs friends, and I would be proud to be your friend.”

            “You would?” Sammy said. “Even if your Mommy is scared of me?”

            “We’ll be your friend no matter who’s scared of you,” Bella said.

            “Not only that, we’ll introduce you to more friends,” Bob said. “We’re taking Zack to meet the folks of the woods. Would you like to accompany us?”

            Sammy brightened. “Sure!”

            They continued through the woods, looking at the trees and birds flying overhead. Shuffling through the leaves, they stopped for a sip of water from a pond when they heard footsteps behind them. A stick poked Zack in the back.

            “Alright everybody, turn around slowly and put your hands up!”

            Turning, they saw squirrels surrounding them. Some had sticks pointed at them. Others had slingshots and small pebbles.  Ricky put his paws in the air. “I think I’m the only one that has hands to put up.”

            “Very funny,” the squirrel behind him said. “Come on everybody, you’re coming with us.”

            “Where?” Zack asked, trembling.

            “We’re under orders from the Day Queen of the forest. You’re trespassing on her land.”

            “Trespassing! We live here!” Bella said.

            A squirrel behind her with a stick. “Quiet, Blue Beauty. When the Day Queen requests your audience, you come with us.”

            “Who is the Day Queen of the forest?” Zack asked.

            “You’ll find out soon enough Goldenrod.” The squirrel behind Zack said. “Now move.”

            The squirrels marched them further into the forest. Zack was scared. The sun was in the middle of the sky. It was getting hot. They stopped in front of an oak tree in the middle of a heavily wooded area. The squirrel behind Zack stepped forward and saluted.

            “Squirrel Squadron Seven reports the mission complete. The suspects have been found. I present them to you.”

            “Very well,” a female voice said. A hawk flew from the top of the tree and landed in front of the group. “Greetings! I am Henrietta Hawk, Day Queen of the forest. What brings you into my lands?”

            “Henrietta Hawk!” Sammy hissed. “We’re doomed!”

            Bob and Bella huddled together. “No! She’ll eat us!”

            Ricky dropped his carrot.

            Zack knew he had to be brave. He stepped forward and bowed his head. “Greetings, Queen Hawk. My name is Zack. I moved to the edge of these woods with my mommy and daddy last fall.”

            Henrietta bent down and studied Zack. “Yes, we have watched you. Your parents are human. You are their pet. What brings you to our woods?”

            Zack bobbed his head in agreement. “I was adopted by human parents from the pet store. They built the house at the edge of these woods. I’ve made many friends, like Bob and Bella Bluebird. I met them when Daddy built a bluebird house for them.  They live in my backyard.”

            Ricky stepped forward. “I live in a hole next to Farmer Fulmer. He leaves food out for us when he gathers his crops.”

            “Please don’t eat me,” Sammy said. “We just wanted to make new friends, and to meet our neighbors.”

            Henrietta studied each of them. “I see you have good intentions for exploring my land. You bring good tidings of kind people and wonderful friends.” She flew to a high branch and called out with a loud voice. “Our guests have arrived! Let the celebration begin!”

            “What?” Zack asked as animals began to appear from the trees around them, bringing fruits, berries, and vegetables for a feast. Henrietta flew to the ground next to Zack.

            “I’m sorry if I scared you. The truth is that we heard it’s your birthday, and we wanted to have a party for you.” She bowed to Bob and Bella. “Thank you for bringing him so we could have this celebration.”

            “You set this up?” Zack asked.

            Bob and Bella smiled. “Surprise!”

            “Happy Birthday!” Ricky said.

            “Welcome to our new friend and neighbor!” Sammy said.

            The squirrels threw their sticks in the air and began to dance. “Hooray for new friends and birthdays!”

            They laughed and danced for hours, until a small hawk flew in. “Scout Harry Hawk, with a traffic report. Zack, your mommy and daddy are on the way home. I’ll guide you back to your house.”

            Zack bowed to his new friends. “Thank you for the wonderful party. I hope I see you again soon.”

            “You certainly will!” Ricky said. “We’ll be sure to visit often!”

            “Please be sure to visit us as well!” Henrietta said. “Now go, before your parents get home and worry!”

            They flew through the forest. Fortunately, they hadn’t gone far since they walked most of the way. Bob and Bella helped Zack back into his house and cage, pulling the latch tightly shut and closing the window as the garage door opened. Zack dashed to the back of his cage and peeked out, as if waking from a nap.

            “Hi Zack, did you have a good day?” Daddy asked, opening the door. Zack stepped on his finger.

            “Hi Zack!” Mommy said, giving him a kiss and patting his back. She frowned slightly as she pulled something from his feathers.

            “What is it?” Daddy asked.

            “A leaf,” Mommy said. She looked at Zack. “My goodness, that’s strange. What have you been doing today?”

            Zack looked out the window at Ricky, who winked and hopped into the woods. It had been an interesting day indeed.

Mommy has a new conspiracy theory. She believes that Walmart is in cahoots with criminals, and is contributing to the degradation of society. Let me explain:

She stopped at the Murphy USA gas station the other day, and noticed fancy televisions mounted on top of the gas pumps. Digital televisions, with bright colors showing the forecast and daily headlines. Mommy wondered why the kindness, until she looked around and realized the gas station was in a very low spot off the road, with a huge rock retaining wall blocking the view from the street. Ah ha, she thought, muggers paradise. How easy would it be for Mr. Bad Guy to walk up behind you while gazing upon that lovely television to take your money and your keys, shove you in the trunk, kill you, wrap you in a Confederate Flag, and dump you in the woods off a lonely stretch of secondary road? Very easy. And now she believes that Walmart is supporting criminal activity to divert their customers’ attention and create easy victims.

She always says that Walmart is the #1 reason why she got her CWP. Everybody has to go there at least some of the time, so you get a glimpse of your entire local society – the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s a snapshot of your world. 

She’s not falling for it. She said that if anybody tries to lure her into a mugging, the forecast will be either a .32 or a .380 in their fanny, depending on what she’s carrying that day. Furthermore, she will not visit their gas stations anymore either. She says their gas is so poor quality that it must be made from dinosaur urine –you have to use mid grade gas there, or your car will hesitate. She was just going for convenience the other day, but will not make that mistake again. It’s probably for the best anyway. She always said that if aliens landed at  Walmart and thought it represented all of humanity, the planet would be dead before we knew the aliens had arrived.

She might be right. She might be silly. She’s probably both. At any rate, I’m glad she was wise enough to notice the dangers of Walmart generosity and chose to stay alert rather than being enamored with sharp pictures on a screen. 

Be careful out there, friends. Always be mindful of your surroundings, and don’t fall for attempts to draw your attention away from what’s around you.

That’s all today. Take care, and have a lovely rest of the week.

Luv,

Zack

Mommy and daddy have imposed a "media blackout" in our nest. The Charleston church shooting Wednesday night took place about 115 miles from here, and the shooter is from our home. In fact, he graduated from the school district where daddy works. They say they can't stand to be inundated with all of this political hooplala and the inevitable turn it will take to race, gun rights, and Al Sharpton spreading his hate in our state. They check the news apps occasionally, but are refusing the news for now. If you want to know mommy's official take on the situation, you can read it in her blog here. 

Since there is no news allowed, we've been spending our time in other fruitful efforts. I helped mommy finish rewrites on her scifi trilogy. It's titled The Earthside Trilogy, and is about two alien races that come to Earth. She's very happy with this second draft, and plans to do her revisions in August. Until then, she's sticking to short stories, reading, and her editing on Readwave. I asked about another Anipal Land story, and she said she didn't have any ideas right now, but you never know when the next one will come along. 

Daddy is reading the Left Behind series. It's a change from the Star Wars books that he usually reads. Mommy said they both read the series several years ago before I was adopted, but he decided to re-read them when we ran across them reorganizing our new bookshelf a few weeks ago. He usually reads in the summer, when our TV shows are in reruns and his work isn't terribly busy (that will change come August - the start of the school year is his worst time at work). 

Zack and I are playing and being good. We're just glad to have nice, peaceful lives, and good human parronts to take care of us. It's great being a domestic bird!

The main thing is trying to stay cool. It's still as hot as the upper layers of hell here. A cold front must have hit today - it's only going to be 97. Still, you have to stay in, and take precautions if you must go outdoors. Stay hydrated, limit your time, crack car windows to let heat out, pull curtains, put up sun shades, etc, etc, etc. 

That's all that's happening around here. I hope you're having a good weekend. Take care, and stay cool!

Luv,

Chloe

 I think daddy ordered us toys! Mommy recently “cashed in” some points on her credit card for Amazon gift cards, and daddy was looking at bird stuff last night. Then mommy put us in our cages for our popcorn snack, and then daddy got excited and showed his tablet to mommy, then she got excited, and he was tapping and tapping and said “it’s ordered, but it’s a surprise.” 

A surprise? For us? Mommy talks to us a lot, but she won’t say what he ordered, and that’s not like her. She usually tells us everything because she says we’re good listeners (what choice do we have? We’re in cages). She says we’ll be happy. All we’ve heard is that they’ve been looking for it for a long time.  

So we’re on the lookout for the delivery truck now, and practicing our signatures. It’s not easy to sign with a stylus in our beak, so we hope it’s something they can leave on the porch. Of course, there’s still the issue of cage locks and whatnot to worry about. I’m working on that issue. Chloe is great at untying knots, but we haven’t figured out picking locks yet.  

We’ll keep working, and this mystery will be unraveled soon. I’m sure it’s a fun one!  We can't wait to see what's in the box.As you can see, I'm well able to get into boxes to check them out.  I just hope it isn't that creepy dude from The Avengers: Age of Ultron. What's his name - The Vision? I don't know how to do CPR on mommy if it is, and I doubt we could get him back in the box.

That’s all today. Stay cool, my friends, and have a great rest of your week.  

Luv,

Zack

Well, it's going to be between 98 and 100 degrees today and the next three days, so I'll let you fill in that blank. Summer has definitely arrived, and it's a good thing that we're tropical birds. Penguins and polar bears would be in a lot of trouble around these parts!

Goodness, I'm glad mommy and daddy adopted me. It got this hot in Tennessee too, and I lived outside in an aviary then. Air conditioning (and heat when it's cold) is definitely one of the biggest perks of domestication! Having walls to keep the wind and rain off of you are pretty sweet. So is your own food bowl, and not having to wear another bird's rear end for a hat in the snuggle pile. And human servants are the best. Perhaps the vet had it right about me at my last checkup - domestication really does agree with me!

I hope you're taking care and keeping cool. Stay hydrated if it's hot out there, and stay indoors as much as you can. Unless you're at the beach or the pool, and then be sure to wear a hat and use sunscreen and sunglasses to prevent beak and toe burn. 

That's all today. Have a wonderful weekend!

Luv,

Chloe

Hi all, I hope you enjoyed our latest adventure in Anipal Land. Now it's back to the days of Zack and Chloe's lives. 

They aren't as exciting as solving a mystery in anipal land using mommy's old toys. Truth is, life is dull. The parronts are on the T25 exercise program, where they go upstairs for 25 minutes, 5 days a week, and jump around like madmen. They say they feel better, and they are losing weight. Night before last was the first time mommy got on the scale and was happy with what it said (it said she lost 10 pounds). 

They're also reading and writing. Mommy is working on her scifi trilogy again, and daddy is reading the Left Behind series again. They both read that series a few years back, but daddy decided to reread it this summer. They're relieved that they finally closed on the refinancing on their house, and are lowering their monthly payments and paying it off sooner. All in all, things are rolling along. 

I hope you're doing well. Take care, and have a wonderful week.

Luv,

Zack

Zack walked into the bright, late spring sunshine wearing a dapper hat and smacking his beak.

“What’s up, big brother?” Chloe asked, her tiara glittering on her golden head as she rushed about to stick flower decorations on the buffet table.

“I think I got soap in my beak from that bubble pipe,” Zack said. Chloe laughed as a bubble rose from his nose and popped.

“It serves you right!” she said.

“How’s this for a crazy hat party?” Jinx asked, approaching in a wild jester hat.

“I love it!” Chloe said. “Are we ready to party?”

“We sure are!” Zack said. “The tables are set and it’s time to celebrate!”

“It sure is!” Morty said, walking up to them in a wide brimmed straw hat. “Oh Zack, you did it again! You solved the mystery!”

“Wait for it,” Chloe said to Jinx.

Sure enough, Sassy came running up, sporting a tiara similar to Chloe’s. “Zack, you saved us again. You’re a hero! What would we do without you?”

“You’re so smart and clever!” Morty gushed.

“And handsome!” Sassy added.

“He sure is,” Queeny said, pushing through the crowd of birds gathering around in her cute sun visor.

Morty turned to Queeny, her eyes narrow. “Back off! He’s ours!”

Queeny jumped back. “Goodness!”

“Now ladies, there’s no need for all of this,” Zack said, his face flushing deeper orange. “I can be friends with everybody. We don’t fight in Anipal Land!”

“Here it comes,” Jinx said, his hat jingling.

“Zack saved us again! Hooray for Zack!” Morty said, as she and Sassy engulfed him in a snuggle.

“Aw, shucks,” Zack said, a stream of small bubbles escaping his nose.

Chloe and Jinx laughed. “He’ll have the cleanest beak and sinuses in Anipal Land for a month!” Jinx said.

“Good news, guys!” Penny Opossum said, approaching in a pineapple hat.

“You’re fruity?” Jinx asked.

Penny looked puzzled, then noticed Jinx staring at her hat and laughed. “Being here has been good for me. And what’s better is that Matty, the lady at the hospital that thought I was her cat, has been transferred to a nursing home on our borders. So I can visit her again, and this time we’ll both be free!” She paused. “Well, as free as she can be. She recovered from the surgery she had for the bump on her head, but she still gets confused, so the staff will take care of her. But she won’t be locked up or on as much medication as she was at the mental hospital.”

“So she was in the geriatric unit recovering from brain surgery?” Chloe asked.

Penny nodded. “I had to get used to talking like her, but now that she’s better, I’m better.”

“That’s great news, Penny,” Jinx said. “We’ll all have to visit her.”

“There’s more good news, too,” Conure Chick said, sporting an elegant flowered hat and leading two green conures into the crowd. “Everybody, meet our newest residents to Anipal Land. I’d like to introduce Momo and Emma. They’re babies, and they’ve come to live in Anipal Land.”

“Hi everybody,” Momo said.

“Hi!” Emma waved shyly.

Chloe rushed forward and gave them beaky kisses. “Welcome to Anipal Land!”

“Yes, welcome,” Zack said, emerging from his snuggle hug with rumpled feathers. “You’re going to love it here!”

“It seems like a good, safe place,” Emma said.

“And fun!” Momo said, looking around. “Is all of this food for us? Goodness, there’s bread, berries, crackers –“

“It sure is!” Conure Chick said. “We have a feast every Friday.”

“And omlets!” Henrietta said. “Today we have omlets, courtesy of your friendly neighborhood chickens!”

Everybody was silent as they heard a crowing in the distance. They turned to see Jeff Musk driving in the newly repaired van, tooting the horn.

“French Fry Friday!” he announced in the truck speaker. Everybody gathered around and gasped as the back of the truck opened to reveal ten roosters unloading French fries.

“They’re here!” Henrietta said, fluffing her feathers.

“Yes,” Jeff Musk said. “Ladies, the farmers adopting you agreed to let your future husbands attend today’s party so you could finally meet. It seems the tale of you taking over the truck to meet them has gone viral online!”

“More joyful surprises!” Chloe said. “Oh, happy day!”

“It’s always a happy day in Anipal Land!” Zack said, munching on a French fry.

“Yes, it certainly is,” Jinx said, his cheek feathers fluffed as he went to gather the rest of the Anipals for the Friday feast in the sunny garden for a day filled with food, fun, and friends.

THE END.