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Rerun of Oldies but Goodies - Oggie Boogies in Anipal Land!

10/31/2017

 
Happy Halloween! Today, we'd like to share an oldie but goodie with you: mommy's Halloween Anipal Land story from a couple of years ago. We hope you enjoy this rerun of a great story from the past. 

Enjoy this blast from the past with our fun Twitter friends, and have a safe and Happy Halloween!


Part 1
The anipals were enjoying a beautiful, fall evening as they prepared for their weekly Friday Feast. Chew and cuddle toys, yukka chews and spray millet hung from low tree branches and poles, the table was set, and the anipals were playing as they waited for the arrival of the French Fry Express to begin the festivities.

“Fall is a beautiful, fun season!” Chloe said.

“Agreed,” Sassy said. “There are so many great things about fall.”

“Like fresh apples!” Zack said.

 “Pumpkins!” Chloe said.

“Football!” Andrea said.

“Halloween fun!” Quarkeybirdy said.

“The best besides the beautiful weather and wonderful bounty is the return of fall TV shows,” ConureChick said. “If I watch one more episode of The Real Hens of Redneck Farms, my brain will rot!”

“Agreed,” Jinx said. “The Walking Dead is salvation next to those cackling hens.”

“What’s that?” Andrea stared at orbs of light floating in from the woods surrounding the borders of Anipal Land.

“Visitors?” Zack asked.

An orb floated in front of each anipal, hovering in front of it. They stared at the orbs, their eyes glistening.

“Don’t look in the lights!” Quarkeybirdy said. “It’s a trick!”

“What trick?” Sassy asked.

“Boo!” the orbs said, causing every anipal but Chloe to jump. Chloe held her stare.

“Knock, knock,” Chloe said.

“Who’s there?”

“Boo.”

“Boo who?”

“What are you crying for?” Chloe asked.

Everybody stared, unsure of whether to laugh or run. Chloe turned toward the anipals. “They’re just ghosts.”

“Ghosts?” ConureChick asked, her feathers standing up (along with everybody elses’!).

“We saw them in the aviary at Halloween,” Chloe said. “We don’t have tormented souls like humans. We’re pure goodness,
so they can’t hurt us. See?” Chloe pecked at the orb, which squealed as it smoked out, and then reformed.

“Ouch!” the orb said.

“Sorry,” Chloe said. “What’s up?”

“We’re looking for the haunted house,” the orb said.

“You’re lost,” Chloe said. “This is Anipal Land. You need to go back through the woods and get on the main road to the humans. They’re running the Haunted House for Halloween.”

“All proceeds go to charity,” ConureChick said. “We appreciate you working with them for a good cause. I think.”

“You can’t beat getting paid to scare people,” the orbs said.

“At least we got that settled easily,” Andrea said.

“Don’t be so sure,” Quarkeybirdy said, pointing toward a dark figure emerging from the woods. “What’s that?”

The figure came into the clearing, decked out in slicked back hair and a dark cape. “I am Count Dracula. I come to suck your blood.”

Part 2

“You can’t suck our blood,” Zack said.

Dracula stared at Zack, puzzled. “Why not?”

“Because it’s illegal.”

“It’s illegal to suck your blood?”

“No,” Zack said, “you’re Dracula, right?”

“That’s right.”

“That means you’re undead.”

“That’s right.”

“It’s illegal to be undead,” Zack said. “By order of Section 6-66-666, all beings here must be alive or dead. Undead is a violation of that section, specifically code 44/10.”

“When did that law pass?” Dracula asked.

“This session,” Zack said, “and I’ll slap you with a 44/10 too, unless you turn away now.”

“I’m bigger than you, little bird. What if I choose to suck your blood anyway?”

“Then we have to rectify the situation,” Andrea said, holding the plastic needle from the toy doctor kit, which was filled with water. “If you try to hurt any of us, we’ll inject you with this serum.”

“Is that a cure?” Dracula asked. “Will it make me alive again?”

“Nothing can make you alive again,” Sassy said. “That will make you dead.”

“That would be bad.”

“Plus, you’d have to deal with these two while I inject you,” Andrea said, nodding to Penne and Coco, who narrowed their eyes and growled at Dracula.

“We’ve got your 44/10 right here,” they said, flexing their feet.

“Oh dear. I don’t want them to deal with me,” Dracula said.

Penne and Coco foot bumped.

“Very well, I will leave,” Dracula said. “But I wonder if you have enough serum for them,” he pointed to a line of zombies lurching from the woods.

Part 3

“Brains!” the zombies chanted.

“Now we’re in for it,” Zack said. “We can’t send them to the haunted house. It’s full of humans. There are no brains there!”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got this one,” Jinx said, pulling out an old iPod.

“Is that mommy’s old iPod?” Chloe asked.

“Probably,” Zack said. “We pillaged her old toy box and supplies after the Spring Adventure with the coyotes and hens. She’s glad we’re using her old stuff in Anipal Land.”

“I know she has it here somewhere,” Jinx said, scrolling through the playlist. “Here it is!” He pecked the iPod. The familiar sounds of Michael Jackson’s Thriller filled the air.

“Jinx, what are you doing?” Zack asked.

“They’re Halloween zombies, right?” Jinx asked.

“Yes, they were on course for the Haunted House, too,” the orbs said.

“Wait for it,” Jinx said.

“But they’re getting closer,” Quarkybirdy said.

“Wait!”

They stood, trembling as the zombies lurched forward. They froze as Jinx plugged the iPod into a set of external speakers.

“What’s happening?” Zack asked.

Suddenly, the zombies broke out in the Thriller dance.

“I can’t believe it,” ConureChick said. “How did that happen?”

 “Halloween zombies must dance to Thriller,” Jinx said.

“Wow, they can really bust a move,” Zack said. “I didn’t know zombies could dance.”

“What about other zombies?” Chloe asked.

“They don’t dance. It takes a head shot with a real gun, and you can’t miss or you’ll be one of them too,” Jinx said. “But these are old-school zombies, so the Thriller trick works on them.”

“That’s a catchy tune,” Zack bobbed his head. Soon everybody, from anipals to Dracula to the orbs, were dancing to the music. Jinx found more tunes on the old iPod and added Monster Mash, Werewolves of London, This is Halloween, and A Nightmare on My Street to the playlist. They were head bobbing to Rob Zombie’s Dragula when a horn honked, and they realized it was full dark and time for the feast.

“French Fry Friday!” Jeff Musk shouted.

“Yay! Now the feast begins!” Zack said.

All of the oggie-boogies froze in place, staring at the truck.

Part 4

“What is it?” Sassy asked.

“French fries!” Dracula shouted.

“Oh no! French fries! The smell! The horrible smell of fried food!” the orbs said.

“No!” the zombies said. “We won’t be part of your freak show carnival!”

“We have to leave before they enslave us for eternity in a carnival!” Dracula said.

“It’s not like that!” Jinx said. “Every Friday is French Fry Friday. It’s a party.”

“For you it is,” the zombies said. “For us, we’re the freak show entertainment.”

“We’re having fun!” ConureChick said. “We wouldn’t hurt you. This is Anipal Land! It’s a safe, fun place for all of us!”

“I think they have trauma from carnivals in the past,” Chloe said. “It’s alright. Here,” she said, holding out a piece of paper in her beak. “I looked online. Here are directions to the Haunted Mansion. Have a safe trip, guys.”

“Thank you, pretty birds. You have been most gracious,” the zombies said.

“Thanks for the directions,” the orbs said, floating behind the zombies back to the woods.

“Thank you for not making me dead,” Dracula said. He jumped as Penne and Coco growled at him again, and swiftly followed the orbs and zombies to the woods.

“What was that?” Jeff Musk asked.

“Just more shenanigans in Anipal Land,” Zack said. “Who’s ready for French Fry Friday party?”

​Everybody cheered and dove into the buffet, celebrating the successful resolution of another silly adventure in Anipal Land.

Halloween

10/26/2017

 
Picture
I like Halloween a lot better since the parronts moved out of a neighborhood. All of that doorbell ringing and mooches holding out bags expecting stuff ticked me off. Worse yet, the house was small, so they always saw me sitting back there and wanted to pet me with their filthy hands, and the parents would beg daddy to take me out. (It was just me back then, no sisters yet) So he would, and one night I finally had enough and bit a princess.
 
They weren’t happy, but it didn’t matter. We moved to the woods the next year. Nobody comes here trick-or-treating, because they don’t know what kind of people live here (or what critters are lurking in the nearby trees). Nor should they. I’m pretty sure Chloe wouldn’t take any better to it than I did. She had enough of people poking at her when she lived in the aviary.  It was public, where they invited people to see and pet the birds. She’s a beauty and didn’t mind the seeing, but the petting thing got old fast. She’s happy to have a home.
 
Bubbles is another story. Her first owner was a child, so she likes children. Daddy still takes her to school from time to time to visit them. But that’s just it – she comes home to us, and immediately resumes chasing and preening me. Quakers really do need to be around other birds. I’m not sure how Bubbles would react to trick-or-treating. She didn’t get to experience it in her former home, where she lived in the garage.
 
But these are useless ponderings, because it doesn’t matter. Halloween now is sitting on the porch or back deck until it gets dark, and then watching Halloween movies and eating popcorn. That suits me, and I think it suits the parronts as well. Besides, that candy gets expensive, and people are discouraging trick or treating and heading to church events more these days anyway. You never know what freaks are out there, especially now!
 
That’s all today. Take care. Have a Happy Friday tomorrow and a wonderful weekend.
 
Luv,
 
Zack

Healing of Various Sorts

10/19/2017

 
Picture
Poor daddy is home sick with an upper respiratory infection. He went to his vet this morning, and they gave him an antibiotic shot and a prescription. I can relate. I get shots at my vet sometimes for my Vitamin D deficiency. It’s not a big deal really, but then again humans have thinner skin that we do. So our job now is to make sure he rests, and take care of him. Birdy healers to the rescue!
 
I have to give mommy points for creativity. She had a bad day yesterday, and decided to turn her foul mood to something better. She decided to write a blog with all of the excuses people have given her for not reading her books, and demonstrating why they’re invalid in the face of her horror story that’s free this week on an Amazon special. It’s pretty funny if you get her humor; especially since it will piss off the people who have uttered these excuses to her. Suck it up, buttercup. That’s the peril of knowing a writer with a bachelor’s degree in psychology. You can’t fool them. And writing that blog really did cheer her up. She said it was good to get her frustration out in a creative way.
 
Anyway, you are good friends here, and I welcome you to take advantage of her Halloween freebie on Resonance by clicking here. The offer goes through Friday at 11:59. It’s one of her earlier works, but it’s a fun story for the season.
 
That’s where it’s at in our corner of the world. I hope you’re doing well. Take care.  Have a Happy Friday tomorrow and a wonderful weekend.
 
Luv,
 
Chloe

Things That Make Me Go Hmm --

10/13/2017

 
Picture
I have to admit that there are still some things that make me go hmm. For example, it’s fall, right? Apple cinnamon everything and time for leaves to change! Then why is it still 90 degrees, and the trees are green? Mommy’s roses are still blooming! She says that South Carolina does have four seasons, it just isn’t the seasons most people are used to. We call them November, December, January, and summer. It’s true. Pollen starts in early to mid-February here. And while the summers are long, hot and humid, we don’t deal with blizzards or snow.  Heck, a dusting of snow skids the entire state to a halt. You know this. You see our tweets.

It’s odd. But not as odd as one question mommy came up with while watching Halloween H20 over the weekend: where does Michael Myers get those huge knives? Yes, he picked them up in the kitchen, but who’s making sandwiches with machetes and scimitars? Good grief, you don’t get those blades at Walmart or Target, which is probably a good thing. Then again, people in horror movies don’t display the highest levels of intellect.

Then there’s the NFL kerfluffal. But we don’t watch pro football, so no problem there. Our biggest problem will be Saturday, when the University of South Carolina and Tennessee play. Mommy and daddy graduated from USC. Chloe is from an aviary in Pigeon Forge, close to Knoxville, TN, and she still loves Rocky Top. We will be a house divided this weekend. I think I’ll stay out of this one and preen  Zack. I sure do love him. He’s great, and extremely handsome!

Life can be confusing sometimes, which is why it’s good to be a bird. Let the humans work this stuff out. They like to complicate things, anyway.

That’s all today. Take care. Have a Happy Friday tomorrow and a wonderful weekend.

Luv,

Bubbles

How I See It

10/5/2017

 
Picture
What’s this about @georgieboysmum taking a Twitter break? We saw a kerfluffal over some political opinions. Mean posts, blocking. Good grief, ya’ll. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!
 
Or maybe not. Mommy’s pissed. This came after several efforts in her personal life to draw her into “he said, she said” disputes. She came home saying “am I in middle school again?” The protesting, complaints, and kvetching are now making their way into everyday life and that, she says, is where she draws the line. It’s time to get it right. And, being the writer that she is, she suspended this week’s fun entry at her blog with a challenge for the whiners to start cashing those checks that their mouths are writing. The challenge: if you want a Utopian society, then stop whining and start building it. She snapped, and you can read all about it here.
 
I don’t blame her. Somebody needs to say it, and I wish people would share and tweet this blog to the ends of the earth. She’s right. There’s too much talking going on, and not enough thinking or action. People have gotten selfish and rude in their self-righteous entitlement indignation. They forgot that the world owes you nothing, because it was here first. Folks, here’s truth: the election is over and you have to live with the results. The other side lived with the results for 8 years, and now it’s your turn. Mommy’s right. Take a dose of grow up, and go do what you’re supposed to do. Protests do nothing but give the things you complain about energy to grow. Action is what turned the tide, and you might have seen it coming if you were paying attention.
 
And that’s how this hen sees the world. Take care all. Have a happy Friday tomorrow and a wonderful weekend.
 
Luv,
 
Chloe

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