I do hope you'll grant me some venting in the first story (Bubbs the Executioner), as it is kind of a tribute to Chloe. Chloe was such a huge part of Anipal Land that I felt that her loss needed to be addressed, and this gave me somewhat of an outlet to vent. Rest assured that the rest of the stories are back to our normal, silly style. I hope you enjoy them, and that you'll let me know which story is your favorite on Twitter!
Without further ado, let's take another break to Anipal Land!
Bubbs the Executioner
Cheech the evil cat pranced through the woods, full of himself.
“Oh yummy birds, oh yummy birds! How tasty is your sweet meat!” he sang. “Wow, Chloe sure was tasty last December. I believe she has a brother and look, that house is where he lives! Perhaps I’ll catch him unawares, too. His parronts should be out and not shooting at me in the middle of the day.” He pranced across the street.
HONK HONK!
Cheech stopped in the middle of the road and looked up. “Is that a blue quaker driving an 18 wheeler?”
A black Trans-Am zoomed around the truck.
BOOM!!
The 18 wheeler thumped over Cheech. “East bound and down, 18 wheels and rolling,” Bubbles sang, “We just bashed a bad ‘ol crunchy cat.”
“Golden boy calling Blue Beauty,” the CB crackled with Zack’s cheerful voice. “The turkey vultures said thanks for lunch.”
“It worked perfectly!” Bubbles said. “Justice for Chloe! Now let’s get these vehicles back to the diner before those guys finish lunch!”
“Justice for Chloe!” Zack said. “Beep beep!”
Bubbs is the Bomb
“Hey Barnum, do you see a strange object out of your window?” Bailey asked.
Barnum looked out of her window. “What is that? It looks like two birds in a spaceship.”
The front of the spaceship opened, splattering green poo all over the window.
Morty gasped from the commanders chair of the BOOM as the canister exploded. “Bubbs! I thought you said it was filled
with hot air.”
“Yea, I backed that thing up,” Bubbs said from the Captain’s chair. “Ship, target next window.”
“Yes, Captain Bubbles,” the mechanical ship voice said.
“She’s crazy,” Morty mumbled as he activated the air freshener and sanitation modules.
Bubbs the Secretary
Bubbles tapped the earpiece in her fluffy ear hole. “Good afternoon, how can I not help you today?”
“Your website is stupid!”
“Our website has or lacks no intelligence,” Bubbs said. “It just is, and does what you tell it to do. What did you do?”
“Nothing!”
“Then that’s the problem. It can’t operate itself yet.”
“Yet?”
“I’m working on that. Soon, it will be more self aware than you are.”
“Now listen, miss! Your head is too big for your shoulders!”
“My head is perfectly proportioned to my plush, blue body.”
“Blue body? Am I talking to a freak alien or something?”
“I’m a mutant!” she said cheerfully. “How else may I insult you today?”
“Let me tell you something about yourself that you don’t know –“ the line went dead. Bubbs looked up to find Zack feasting on the connection cord. “Zack, what are you doing?”
“Wires and cords make great snacks, especially when that conversation was going nowhere.”
Bubbs returned to building SkyNet. Somebody had to do it. Its not like humans were smart enough to do things themselves anymore.
Bubbs the Hacker
“Are you sure this will work?” Jinx asked. “I don’t want Mad Hacker to hack us.”
“It’ll work,” Bubbs said, tapping at the keyboard. “Mad Hacker has been hacking the system at intervals of every 24 hours. It’s nearly time, and then we’ll have a special surprise for him to send back to his comrades this time!”
“Are you sure this will deter him?” Zack asked.
“Would you like it if you were a communist hacker looking for data to sell on the dark web or to politicians?”
“No,” the boys said together.
“Here he comes,” she tapped in the rerouting code. “Get ready for a surprise!”
The 24 hour gospel and praise Internet station activated.
“He’s trying to back out!” Zack said.
“Launching the budgie bot counter virus,” Jinx said, tapping the keyboard at his work station.
“Success! It locked his system!” Bubbs activated a clone of Mad Hacker’s screen, showing the gospel choir dancing and praising at top volume on the screen. “Jinx, it worked. Your virus attached to all of his systems and rerouted to this web channel. All he’ll be able to see is a gospel choir every time he tries to hack again!” She cheered. “Sell that, Mad Hacker!”
“Hallelujah,” Jinx said, foot bumping Zack.
Bubbles the Wise
“Hey Bubbs, the garage door just went up. Daddy’s home.”
The happy hut shook. Zack stared at her cage across the room. “Where are you? Is that your fanny sticking out?”
“It’s the secret to a great day,” Bubbles said. “Always put your best butt forward.”
“I thought it was your best face forward.”
“Did you see any indication of people using their heads lately? You can hear it on the jabbering the parronts leave on the radio for us to listen to all day!”
“That’s a good point,” Zack scratched his head. “Do you think the parronts need to find something better than the radio to keep us entertained while they’re at work? They think we play with these cage toys and sleep. They have no idea what we
did today.”
“No, we do just fine,” Bubbles turned around, her pretty face feathers fluffed in joy. “And we always make it back here just in time!”
THE END.