“Ship, take us to the alien vessel.”
“Yes, Bubbles,” the ship said in a soothing, mechanical voice.
“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” Morty said from his seat, where he was securely strapped in, wrapped in a bubble wrap suit and a bubble helmet.
“Morty, I think you’re overdressed for the occasion,” Chloe said. “The ship is safe. Zack and I helped Bubbles build it.”
“But it does what she says,” Morty said.
Bubbles pointed to the flickering crown of lights around her pretty blue head. “It’s the neural interface. It hooks into my brain. I can run the ship with my thoughts, or voice commands.”
“Which is why I’m securely strapped in,” Morty said. “Why am I here?”
“Because you always hang out with us, Morty,” Chloe said, “and we need for you to monitor the systems. Can you see anything in that helmet?”
“Not really,” he cautiously took it off.
ConureChick’s and Quarkybirdy’s faces appeared on the viewscreen. “We got the programming ready, Bubbles. Is RoboMaid ready to receive?”
“She’s ready,” Zack said, plugging the MaidBot into a connector at the back of the bridge. “Are you sure about sending an away team to deliver the package? I’m sure the probe is safe, but I worry about Chloe and Jinx going into enemy territory.”
“We’ll be ok,” Jinx said. “I know how to deal with ‘keet thugs.”
“But these are Budgie Bots. They’re artificial intelligence, more android than ‘keet.”
“We can handle it,” Chloe said.
“This programming does not fall within the normal parameters of avian play methods,” MaidBot said.
Sunny’s pretty face appeared on the screen. “I’ll have to override the play protocols.”
The robot shuddered as the new programming came through the ship.
“Got it!” Zack said, studying the display screen.
“Approaching the Budgie Bot ship,” Bubbles said. “Stay tight, folks. This could get interesting.”
“Of that, I have no doubts,” Morty said.
“Good luck, guys, and take care,” ConureChick said. “We’ll be monitoring and communicating by hunt-and-peck from here.”
“Going to radio silence,” Marianna said.
“The messages will come through the neural interface,” Bubbles said. “I’ll keep you connected.”
“How can you keep up with all of that running through your head?” Morty asked.
“It’s easy,” Bubbles said. “You just have to stay alert.”
The ship slowed as it approached the small spherical ship sitting in the shadow of the moon. “Open a channel.”
Morty tapped the console with his beak. “Channel open.”
“Budgie Bot ship, this is Captain Bubbles of the Starship BOOM. Please respond.”
Soft snickering sounded behind her. She turned to see Zack and Jinx laughing. “What?”
“Captain Bubbles?” Zack asked.
“It’s my name!”
“I’m not sure if they’re going to be frightened by Captain Bubbles!” Jinx laughed. “On the BOOM!”
“I do boom,” Bubbles said.
The viewscreen flickered to life, showing the interior of a ship with pods. Each pod held a budgie with red blowing eyes and several mechanical implants.
“Oh no,” Morty whimpered.
“Captain Bubbles, surrender the Boom and prepare for evolution of birdkind,” the mechanical voices said.
“Launch the diversion,” Bubbles said softly. Chloe and Jinx nodded and quietly ushered RoboMaid off the bridge as Bubbles neural interface blinked. She turned to the viewscreen.
“Let me talk to your leader,” Bubbles said.
“There is no leader. We are all connected. We are one with Budgiedom.”
“Creepy!” Morty said. He tapped the screen to feed the scans of the ship to Bubbles neural interface.
“Fine, then this should be easier. We anipals don’t want your implants. We want to be free and have fun as the creation we were made to enjoy. We don’t need machines to complete us.”
“But your life spans are pathetically short. You should be more and do more if you were assimilated, as we are. You would be more efficient companions to your human servants.”
“They don’t want efficient anipals, they want real companions. If they wanted robots, they’d get robots.”
“Humans are slow to evolve. They will be evolved when our companions arrive.”
“What companions?” Zack asked.
“One problem at a time,” Bubbles said.
“You will not have problems once you are evolved with our advanced biomachinery. You are a Moncks Parakeet. You will assimilate flawlessly and will make a fine addition to our ranks.”
“I’d like to see them try,” Morty said.
“BudgieBots, I’ve scanned your ship, and you have several weaknesses. Don’t make me defend ourselves and our planet by exploiting them.”
“There is nothing to exploit. We are budgie perfection.”
“Really?” Bubbles said as Chloe appeared behind one of the budgies, waving a foot before grabbing it by the neck and slinging it against the roof. She cheered with joy as Jinx grabbed more budgies and tail flung them across the room.
“Whee! This is fun!” Jinx said. “Tail flinging in zero g!”
“What do you know? I can Kung-fu fight bird bots in space!” Chloe said, flipping more bionic keets across the room.
“Way to go, guys,” Zack said. He leaned toward Bubbles. “The RoboMaid is plugged in and downloading. Two minutes to completion. Keep them diverted.”
“I think Chloe and Jinx are doing alright,” Bubbles said as she watched them fling and flip bird bots across the room, releasing “whoas!” and “oops!” through the alien ship.
“There’s a weapon charging!” Morty shouted. “Port side!”
“Computer, target that weapon and launch on it before it launches on us!”
Phew phew phew!
BOOM!
The budgie bot ship lurched as the port side exploded.
“Weapons destroyed,” the ship chimed calmly.
Chloe and Jinx are ok, the message from Sunny came through the neural interface. Confirmation that their lifesigns are still strong, intact, and in motion. Thirty seconds to download.
Bubbles, Zack and Morty jumped as Chloe and Jinx grabbed a keet and flung him against the viewscreen. Mechanical parts and feathers floated past the viewscreen.
“Download complete. I am not programmed to clean this method of mess!” RoboMaid said angrily.
“Nobody said you have to, bot,” Jinx said.
“What download?” the BudgieBot voices said.
“We know how to deal with Alien AI,” Chloe said. “The only way to beat it is with a virus.”
“Virus? What is happening?”
The ship went silent. Jinx kicked an implant aside. “Package delivered. Their link is severed.”
“So are their weapons,” Zack said.
“Well done. Come back,” Bubbles said.
“We will not release your friends. They are ours and will be assimilated.”
“That may be difficult,” Chloe said. “Bubbles, now!”
Bubbles closed her eyes, launching the final phase of the attack. MaidBot shuddred as the magnetic field emanated from her. BudgieBots flew through the air, sticking to her.
“Magnets are bad for metal,” Jinx winked. “And computers. I installed a whopper in your lab on my way in.”
“Thanks, Jinx,” Bubbles said. “Computer, target their science lab and fire all weapons.”
Phew phew phew!
BOOM!
The screen rocked as the bay on the other end of the ship exploded.
“I guess they didn’t notice you lining us up over the north pole while we distracted you with ‘keet flinging!” Chloe laughed.
The ship shuddred. Chloe and Jinx ran to a screen. “Um guys, they’re powering up engines.”
“Get out of there!” Bubbles said.
“Not enough time!”
“Stand still!” Bubbles closed her eyes again. RoboMaid dropped her magnetic field, dropping the BudgieBots and activating another transport field. She put her mechanical arms around Chloe and Jinx. “Ready, Captain Bubbles!” MaidBot said.
“Transport!” Bubbles said, her neural interface surrounding her head in a solid white light.
Light shimmered on the Budgie bridge, engulfing the robot and two birds. Seconds later, an explosion of light dropped the three on the bridge of the BOOM. Chloe and Jinx fluffed their feathers and stood.
“That was awesome!” Jinx said.
Morty’s beak hung open. “You can transport, too? What kind of stuff does your daddy keep in his shop?”
A light flashed on the screen as the BudgieBot ship flew away.
“Ship, follow them! Make sure those fartheads get far away from Earth!”
The ship zoomed after them in a flash of light.
ConureChick, Quarkybirdy, Marianna, and Sunny stared at the screen, their eyes wide. “Where did they go?”
Marianna studied the screen and laughed. “Oh my goodness!”
“What?” ConureChick, Sunny, and Quarkybirdy approached the screen, then broke into howls of laughter as they trajectory illuminated.
Meanwhile, deep in the solar system:
Bubbles, Zack, Chloe, Jinx, and Morty stared at the blue planet on the screen. The screen blinked alive to show Uglek’s oblong head on the screen. “Greetings birdy buddies! What brings you to Neptune, a glorious planet filled with methane and gaseous wonders?”
“You did say ‘fartheads,” Zack said.
“I know,” Bubbles moaned.
“Uglek, did you see a small, round ship go by?” Chloe asked.
“Sure did. It booked it out of here as fast as it came.”
“Why didn’t you stop it?” Morty asked. “They tried to attack anipals on Earth!”
“Really!” Uglek. “My apologies. All kinds of strange things pass us by out here. Space isn’t really that empty and after some of your mommy’s writings, we’ve see a lot!”
“I can imagine,” Chloe said.
“They won’t be back,” Bubbles said. “We got what we needed from them.”
“What do you mean?” Morty asked.
“RoboMaid had two programs in her. One to deliver the virus to disable the BudgieBots, and another one to download their computer to the BOOM. They didn’t expect resistance form us, and have deemed us a bigger than anticipated threat. They’ve retreated back to their masters.”
“Their masters?” Morty asked.
“Ship, launch interecepted video.”
A grey face with glowing red eyes appeared on the screen. “Greetings, Earth. Your time has come. You can evolve with us, or you can die.”
“OH SH**!” Morty screamed.
Zack breathed hard. “I think I held it that time. Wait!” His eyes went big as he tooted. “Nevermind.”
“Calm down everybody,” Chloe said. “That’s the cybernetics on a space station at Alpha Centauri. They’re from mommy’s Earthside Trilogy.”
“It looks like the BudgieBots are on track for that station,” Bubbles said. “From the looks of these files, it seems that the cybernetics evolved parakeets to be their avian companions in space.”
“What?” Morty asked. “That’s messed up.”
“Space is lonely,” Uglek said. “Anipals would be nice out here to keep us company. You’re certainly a welcome visitor.”
“What about the cybernetic aliens?” Zack asked.
“They are mommy’s problem,” RoboMaid growled as she cleaned the bridge.
“RoboMaid is right,” Jinx said. “Let your mommy fix that problem. We’ve done our part. We defeated their anipals.” He looked confused. “I think? Morty’s right. That’s messed up.”
“Well, our part in this adventure is done,” Bubbles said. “Does something smell bad?”
Their feathers wilted as the smell of rotten eggs seeped into the vents.
“Ah, the fresh scent of methane!” Uglek said. “I love exploring these gas giants!”
Bubbles set her neural interface straight. “Ship, take us home. To Anipal Land. ON EARTH!”
“Yes, Captain Bubbles,” the ship said cheerily as the ship zoomed back to Earth.